Riddle #1

New type of writing in testing, I will write stories from the perspective of some random noun and you, the readers will have to guess what it is! 1^st person to guess correctly will receive something from me. As of now, that something will be a hug? Maybe a quarter? Or maybe… you won’t get anything but the satisfaction of winning… you’ll have to wait and see! Answers can be accepted either via AIM or Comments. That way I have a way of telling from the timestamps I receive.

The small clatter and thump of Rogelio’s head onto the glass surface of the curved precipice awoke himself and his numerous companions. Last they knew they were sleeping soundly in the dark pouch of their cave, but this new environment didn’t look too bad. It was well lit and the floor was extremely smooth. Then before they knew it, Rogelio and his companions were being drowned alive! There was a strange whitish substance that came pouring out of a huge gaping hole that appeared out of nowhere! The waterfall of this white liquid seemed to be eating his companions alive as with each contact, there was a loud CRACKLE/POP. Rogelio tried to run away, but he could not. He and his friends were packed in like sardines in a can. He had no choice but to accept his grisly fate to be consumed and melted by the strange liquid.

He closed his non-existent eyes and gritted his non-existent teeth as he braced himself for the gigantic wave of the substance. To his surprise, the cracks he felt ripping through his body did not kill him, all they did was scare the living daylights out of him as he could not control the gases escaping his body. It was as if he had eaten a LOT of beans and kept releasing explosive farts the ripped through the air and created a small gun-shot explosion.

So Rogelio just sat back and tried to imagine that he was swimming in the ocean and tried to tune out the explosive CRACKS coming from his and his friends’ bodies. But then suddenly a strange silvery UFO attached to a stick hovered into his vision and started descending rapidly. He tried to franticly swim away from the offending object as it dipped under the surface of his new ocean and began lifting his friends up and away.

Rogelio successfully evaded the first couple of dips, but on the 6^th dip… his luck ran out. He was abducted along with 20 of his friends and they all went cracking and screaming into the gigantic cave that the UFO was taking all of his friends. The mouth of the cave was lined with squarish stalactites and stalagmites that were lined up perfectly, but inside the cave, it was symmetrically and evenly smoothed over with tiny bumps lining the floor.

Rogelio thought he was safe, but soon the opening of the cave began to close out the daylight and he could no longer see his surroundings. To make matters even worse, the floor started moving and pushing him towards the now moving stalactites and stalagmites! They were so perfectly aligned that there was virtually no room between them as the cave started moving around. Rogelio’s fate was sealed, he was crushed by the vicious stalactite/stalagmite combo and pushed down the waterfall in the back of the cave where he would sit and rot until the fishes came to eat him bloated corpse…

What is Rogelio?