Bored #1

Yes, so, I’m kind of bored right now. So I’ll write a random story. And here begins the randomness.

Dalziel was running out of time. The clock was ticking away and as its illustrious hand reached the not so illustrious 0 mark of the timer, something big was bound to happen. Tick Tock went the clock. Ticking and tocking, the clock spent its days hanging on the wall, peering over the room as an overseer peers over his slaves. Only the clock did not have a whip in hand, he was satisfied just pointing at numbers all the days of his life; or rather the length that his heart lasted him. Once in a while, after his heart gave out, Mr. Clock would sit like dead meat on a hook, but alas, Dalziel would notice the stench of Mr. Clock’s rotting corpse and perform open-heart surgery in a matter of seconds and resuscitate Mr. Clock from his dark days of death.

For this, Mr. Clock felt an extreme attachment to Dalziel. All this love that Dalziel showed him by looking at him lovingly and saving his life when needed was just so rainbow styling to Mr. Clock and for that he was sure that Dalziel was the man of his dreams. But of course before Mr. Clock could spend his days together with Dalziel, he had to undergo a sex change because he was sure that Dalziel was not gay. Mr. Clock spent many hours of his days pondering how to achieve this seemingly impossible task; he would have to undergo such a rare operation all without using his hands. His hands were bound to their circular path as Mr. Clock suffered from extreme obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). If Mr. Clock stopped moving his three hands around for even one second, he would lapse into a deep sickness from which he could never recover even with the magical life-saving hands of Dalziel.

Then one day, as Mr. Clock was sleeping, he felt the pull of something strange. He was being lifted off the hook that bound him to his mundane place on the wall. This force was very strange to Mr. Clock; a bit frightening and exciting at the same time. Then when this strange power finally ripped Mr. Clock off the wall he neared the source of this magnetic force and saw that it was a super massive black hole. Hands still pointing and moving, Mr. Clock thought this was the end. He would never see Dalziel again, and about that he was correct…

Dalziel’s sleeping time ran out. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and rolled onto the floor where Ladridia lovingly licked his face to Dalziel’s complaints.

“Ahhh… stop Ladridia!” exclaimed Dalziel in disgust. He rewashed his recently washed face with water instead of dog saliva and as he brushed his teeth, thought of the strange dream he had. There had been lots of clocks and some strange personification of these clocks. He thought nothing more of his extremely abstract dream, but unbeknownst to Dalziel, his dream would have much importance in the days to come. By thinking about the dream while awake and kicking, Dalziel had unknowingly fulfilled the prophecy of the magical land of the clocks. Dalziel’s day continued without event and the thought of his dream never entered his head for days. He lived life as he normally would, extremely routinely. Wake up, go to school, sleep in class, wake up for snippets, copy frantically what was on the board, go back to sleep, eat lunch, go home, game with friends on vent, do homework, eat dinner, talk to people on AIM/surf internet, go to sleep, and repeat.

Then suddenly, while Dalziel was sleeping, he felt a strange presence in his room. He thought he was dreaming so thought nothing of this new aura in his room, he continued sleeping and enjoyed the softness and warmth of his pillows. He rolled over and shifted to find a better position, but as he did so, he kicked the hand of this new person in his room. As his foot connected with this strange hard substance, Dalziel realized that this was no dream…

He was suddenly wide awake and he grabbed the nearest object that could serve as a weapon. His natural-born survival instincts were kicking in as Dalziel clenched his metal flashlight tightly. He slowly stumbled out of his bed and headed toward where he had heard the intruder scamper... As he neared the pile of potentially dirty laundry, his heart started beating harder and harder, “ba-dump, ba-DUMP, BA-DUMP… THUMP!” Dalziel’s heart leapt straight out of his chest and lay still-beating in the middle of the pile of the now bloody laundry. Dalziel fell over lifeless onto the pile but in so doing, he landed perfectly so that his still-beating heart was shoved back into his chest and he awoke again with a huge gasp of air that filled his lungs so much that his lungs burst and he died yet again… Dalziel’s lifeless body lay rotting on the floor but then the clock climbed out of the corner and returned that favor that he had received so many times. He performed surgery on Dalziel and resuscitated him to life, after that simple action, Mr. Clock picked Dalziel back up and placed him back into his bed. Mr. Clock summoned forth his super massive black hole again and with one last teary-eyed look back at Dalziel, jumped back into the whole and left Dalziel to live his life.

Dalziel awoke the next morning and felt an odd pain in his chest but coughed a few times and thought nothing of it. The pain subsided and Dalziel walked into the bathroom past a small, mangled battery on the floor with a note attached. “You saved my life so many times so I thought I would return the favor…” Dalziel thought nothing of the note and tossed the battery along with the note into the trash can and proceeded to brush his teeth…