Revelation hits like a little girl

I have officially quit gaming hard core style. Games are no longer fun to me and I have just realized that games were actually my escape from the world. In an extreme illustration, games were my drugs. I would “use” because I could not deal with all my pent up emotions and would just game into numbness. Now I guess I’ve grown resistant to this strain of gaming known as EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER PLAYED which is basically everything known to man.

Now that I have finally quit the games/drugs, I hope that I will be a more open to share my emotions/talk to people. To all my gamer friends, which is like all my friends from school, even though I doubt any of them read this, this may sound like the end, but if you look closely at the word choice in the beginning, I said hardcore style. This does not mean I am completely closed against gaming because I’m pretty sure it’s going to be pretty hard for me to relapse like an alcoholic unless some amazing game comes out (COUGHD3COUGH) in the next 3 years. But even then, I will never go back to where I was before.

And also now that I have so much more free time on my hands, I will need to find a new hobby. What I am thinking of right now are basically, guitar, working out and getting ridiculously jacked Chuck Norris style on a total gym pro, reading a lot of random good books, writing more short stories for your reading pleasure, and chilling more with people in real life which doesn’t really work so well during the school year. Another option which I guess has always been there but never kind of neglected to the extreme is Frisbee. I’ve been on the team ever since freshmen year and yet, I still suck. Well I guess I don’t suck compared to the really bad people on the team, but seeing how I’ve been playing for 3 years now, the level of my skill is ridiculously low. So I guess I could become the all around awesome kid who no longer games his pain and emotions away into numbness but instead tackles his emotions and feelings head on in the face like a wave. Whatever waves life may throw at me, I promise that I will no longer ride the wave and give into the numbness of just riding it calmly back. I will run with my head held high and stance strong and dive into the ocean of the world and defeat it. I will prevail.

With all that said, I will probably need some of your help in keeping me on my feet. Sometimes I may be feeling quite tired from the extreme cold of the waters of life so I may need a friend to huddle together with for warmth and energy to get back out there and keep on fighting. Therefore, you should start talking to me again on AIM or whatever you have previously tried to contact me with oh so many years ago. I realized that since I was always gaming without an away message, I would receive many a chance to talk and share about my life, but I would be too enveloped in the allure of a stupid game to notice. To many if not all of you, I apologize for my gaming having shunned you away from ever getting to know me better and I ask you now, please, please do talk to me. I really do want to get to know you better. You can also remind me to not game.

Speaking of all these waves… the beach today was pretty fun. Running chest first and slamming into those huge waves at Ogunquit could not be topped. Yes the water was freaking cold at 59 degrees, but I manned up and took the hit and did not pull a Ryan Fung. =P Sitting in the car seeing people dance and wave at the ridiculously baked women in the trunk was also quite amusing if not the high light of sitting in the car. I also shared some quality time with my techno raver buddy sharing headphones. To all of you lame kids who did not go, you all missed out on my ridiculously chiseled bod. So since next year is my last LYF beach trip you don’t want to miss out! If you don’t go next year I’ll have to start charging for looks/feels. Just ask Chris Huang, kid was all over me strangely enough.