Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Tufts "Optional" Creative Essay

Yes yes, LYF retreat post was promised. But I guess I lied.
So seeing as how I had to write a creative essay while applying to college. I'll post it here as well.

"Tufts develops leaders who will address the intellectual and social challenges of the new century. Since critical thinking, creativity, practicality and wisdom are four elements of successful leadership, the following topics offer you an opportunity to illustrate these various characteristics. We invite you to choose one and prepare an essay of 250-400 words. (And it really is optional!)"

Yeah mos def. Optional college essay, freaking liars. But I enjoy creative writing, so whatever.

"7. Use one of the following topics to create a short story:
a. The Spam Filter"

            Filper’s eyes quickly opened as he peered into the vast openness in front of him. Nothing in sight. The day slowly dragged on and his eyes began to droop, but he still vigilantly stood his post. As the hour neared seven in the PM, he took a shot of his notorious coffee and coke mixture. The time had come, where his post as the spam filter would be put to the test. Seven was the hour of the highest traffic of spam. Filper was fashioned by the greatest spam filter programmer ever. He could filter ten thousand emails per second and read one million words per minute, but speed was not of the essence in his job. The quality of his filtration out weighed anything.

One spam e-mail into the sacred inbox could have devastating effects. That naïve e-mail user could possess a lazy finger and click on every incoming message without reading the subject, “FREE ROLEX WATCHES!!!$@#$^&!!SCAM!!!!”  After opening the offending

e-mail, he would realize that it was not from his boss Joe, though it was from Joe123@spam.com, and see that it was spam. And of course everyone hates spam, the e-mail type at least, so he would marvel at the “stupidity” of those spammers who placed a link to stop the spam in clear sight. Unaware of the fact that the link was actually a switch to the endless torrents of relentless spam, he would click to “stop” future contact link. In doing so, he would open the flood gates of spam hell.

            This hypothetical situation kept Filper on his toes whenever spam rush hour neared. In fact, Filper almost worked himself into a spam-lust as he imagined all the filtration he was to be doing. The satisfaction of directing those terrible e-mails into the deep, dark folder labeled “Junk Mail” could not be matched by any other activity. Being a spam filter is what Filper was born to do, it was his calling. He poured his attention to the fields ahead of him again and when the first sight of an enemy appeared, his filtering began, his test of endurance. As his skill was put to the test, his user logged on and this spurred Filper on even greater, his leader was watching him at his best. Then, as if in slow motion, his king clicked on the junk mail folder opened the first email and clicked the “unsubscribe” button…

Word Count: 403


Enjoy!



22 comments:

liz said...

dave, this was definitely creative- it kept my attention :) i really need to do my tufts essays! gosh, way to dash the hopes of your readers by not posting about lyf retreat. jk, maybe when all this college madness is over and if you still remember things/emotions :)

Anonymous said...

I actually enjoyed reading through this posting.Many thanks.
Email Spam Filtering

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