It’s going to be an interesting term. I can already tell. It’s only been half a week, but I can feel it
in my bones. The things that happen this
term will make or break me. And the work
load hasn’t even picked up yet. Well
that’s probably because I’m not ever too worried about school work because you
just do it and then it’s done. Haha,
that actually works with everything. If
you do it, it will be done, because you just did it.
Okay, getting a little weird up in here Dave it’s like you’re
talking to yourself. But isn’t that why
I write this blog? I have all these
thoughts and feelings pent up inside me.
And I actually DON’T think I can deal with them. I can’t just sit here alone and be
comfortable just being in my own skin. I
don’t know why. I’m
looking for something, but I don’t know what.
It’s like the worst invention in Harry Potter. The remembrall or whatever it is. It tells you when you’ve forgotten something,
but of course you’re not going to remember otherwise you wouldn’t have forgotten
it. I’m looking for something but I don’t
know what.
Yes, the proverbial God-shaped hole that you try to fill
with a bunch of things whether it be money, cars, girls, games, sex, drugs and
the like. But I feel like I’ve been a
part of that community for so long. I’ve
never known anything else. But then that
gets into the question of how I've definitely never felt this lost when I was
in that phase. But I also can’t imagine
myself going back to be that same person, at least not at WPI. I don’t know. I really don’t know.
And of course the next logical step at this point in time is
to go lose myself in something because it’s rather unsettling to be in this
state for too long. Or I could just
wallow in sadness and listen to music and the rain rhythmically splattering on
the ground outside my window. We’ll see. We will see.
Just gotta keep on keeping on.
