Up and Coming...

A reflection of the happennings at LYF Retreat is on its way. Of course after Hamlet's sanity is discussed in three "well-thought-out" paragraphs...

The finished product

Leave an e-mail. It will be sent... (unless I deem you "unworthy")

and by unworthy I mean until I check my blog again. I'm not some comment whore, contrary to what some beleive.

In the mean time, enjoy this music.

Here

Here too

Here be Three

More music will come as I check for comments.

VBS Long Essay Super Draft

“I have to go to the bathroom Peter,” I said as I made the universal little kids’ bathroom signal.

“Okay hurry up! Come on!” replied Peter, the teacher assistant for my class as he led the way to the bathroom. After I unloaded my bladder I quickly hurried back to the main sanctuary where the worship was being held. I loved jumping, singing, and dancing around with the one hundred other kids who were also attending my church’s annual Vacation Bible School (VBS).

As I returned to the sanctuary the band was playing one of my favorite songs “Whose Side are You Leaning on?” and I let out of scream of glee and I mimicked the motions the worship leaders demonstrated. As the song played on, I noticed that one of my fellow campers was not as enthusiastic as I was and instead of dancing along with the rest of us, he was sitting bored on the floor staring blankly.

Determined to get him involved in the song, I naively walked up to him and start nudging him and unknowingly annoying him to no avail. When the song called for a leaning motion, I would put all of my weight onto him and lean. I thought that by making him part of the motions that I would get him involved but the next thing I knew, I was in a full fledged 3^rd grade headlock. I had not thought of the possibility of violence and being probably a full thirty-five pounds lighter than my adversary, I was in no way to escape easily. But with his arm nearby and my fast thinking brain, I opened my big mouth and bit down hard on the soft arm of my fellow camper…

Since that dreadful day of having the salty arm of my once-enemy inside of my mouth I have not failed to return to VBS almost every year. The camp has been with me for pretty much my whole life and has significantly shaped my personality. From seeing the cooler youth helpers and taking them as my role-models to being one of the cooler youth helpers who is a role-model, I have grown into the man I am today.

[Insert non-existent college essay-worthy personality traits and self-reflection here]

Now as I am entering the next stage of my life I will still never fail to return to volunteer every summer at my church’s VBS and hear the words that I myself one uttered. “I have to go to the bathroom.”

- - - -

Worth finishing?

Vocalistic Breakage Scholarliness

Hello again my devoted readers. I am proudly bored of my summer vacation so here I am remembering that I can busily enjoy myself for a bit and provide all of you with perhaps 5-10 minutes of entertainment to help alleviate the dull days of summer. But be not discouraged I will provide some more outlets of temporary enjoyment at the end of this post.

“ROCK!” The sound echoed through the transparent plastic drum shield of which Dalziel was rocking out behind. The little children wearing different color coded matching T-shirts screamed along with the music. This cult-like T-shirt wearing was called Vacation Bible School, VBS and Dalziel was playing drums for their worship as well as being a TA for the 2^nd oldest kids of the camp.

Dalziel was to assist Eberhard in his teaching along with Mahalia. The days rolled on and Dalziel did not really expect to be too well-liked by the campers. He was never very good at working with little kids so he was not as active with the kids as Eberhard and Mahalia. Sure the kids would do the random things that they do such as renaming him Charlie (the Turtle) or Goat among other things, but Dalziel was just awkward when it came to interacting with kids. The kids seemed to love Eberhard especially and would always attack him and climb on him, they did this with Mahalia as well but not quite near as much as they did with Eberhard. For his personal bubble being kept in tact, Dalziel felt happy and sad at the same time. He was glad that he could have his moments of nap time when his help was not needed, but also sad that his campers did not really like him that much.

Then Wednesday arrived. The day of the water games, and by water games I mean randomly running around and owning people in the face with water. Dalziel knew before hand that Mahalia would be leaving at around 12:30 that day which was conveniently right when the game time was scheduled to end. With this in mind, during the day before water games, Dalziel was scheming along with Eberhard to push Mahalia and all the other girls into the pool and soak them. The water soakage was bound to be boys versus girls because at this age, the children were not really attracted to the opposite gender, but had more of a hate/slight attraction relationship with each other. So it was to be 4 male campers and 2 male staffers versus 12 female campers and 1 female staffer.

The time of execution neared and the kids filed semi-organized into the courtyard where the gallows were stationed. They sat down in a circle where they obediently listened to the games coordinator. He had planned 2 preliminary “moistings” before the real marinating was to begin. The kids were dribbled with water as the hot sun beat down on them overhead. Towards the end of the 2^nd game, the kids were on the verge of explosion when the games coordinator ran to the hose and sprayed all the kids down and started screaming. Madness ensued and the previous scheming was forgotten for a small period of time. Then as the Spartans were quelled for a bit, the plans re-emerged in their brains and the pushing and pulling towards the pool commenced.

After all the fun was to be had, Dalziel and Eberhard had each been dunked around 4 times, but Mahalia had been dunked a whopping 10-12 times. For all the madness that had occurred during the games, it was no where near the madness that was to happen during transition time.

As all the kids were wet, they needed to change out of their wet clothes. Seeing as girls will be girls, all 12 of them went into the bathroom and changed all at once. The guys, being guys, went into the bathroom, saw that the stall was broken and decided to change in the classroom together. The girls finished relatively quickly and all filed out of the bathroom fully dressed. The guys were taking forever inside the classroom and Eberhard was faithfully guarding the door as the 4 boys slowly changed. As the girls waited outside the classroom, they began to get restless. Then Eberhard made the mistake of putting his head in to check on the progress. The 12 girls saw that the door was ajar and all threw their bodies against the door pushing and screaming, “WE WANNA SEE!! AHAHAHAHAH!” Eberhard who knew the progress inside saw that one of the boys was stark naked under the table and held strongly against the mass of girls who were experiencing their new found hormones. This excitement they could not contain! 1^st going to the bathroom in groups and now boys! =O NO WAI! But alas, the bigger and stronger boys Eberhard and Dalziel protected their fellow males and held the ground with Eberhard holding the door only slightly ajar and Dalziel pulling 3-6 girls off the mass from the back.

This attempt of the obstruction of privacy was the most exciting and surprising part of VBS and for the rest of the week, Dalziel got a little bit closer to his campers and was dead tired. But that did not stop his midnight excursions into the wonderful land of Johto and Kanto…

That’s all for now, I may start making stuff up or posting up drafts of my college essay up here sooner or later. But some temporary respite from boredom is found here http://www.kongregate.com?referrer=littlestsun . Random flash games, do some achievements get some points, level up and all the while if you sign up with that link give me points too! =O yes this is what I have degraded to.

Gamers Un-ited

Now that my gaming “career” is “over” I can reflect on what kind of twisted world I have just left. Or should I say, that Dalziel has just left =O

- - - -

“LOL I PWN YOU NOOB!” typed the despicable little nerdy boy with 5 inch thick glasses who spent all of his time inside in a dark room that was illuminated by the bright liquid crystals of his 24 inch LCD widescreen monitor.

“That’s it. How retarded are these kids who flame each other over the internet because they’re unhappy with their real lives. They spend all their time inside a dark room that is illuminated by the bright liquid crystals of a 24 inch LCD widescreen monitor” thought Dalziel as he threw his headset at his 24 inch LCD widescreen monitor. He had had enough of this enormous waste of his time.

Years Dalziel had spent in front of his bright 24 inch LCD widescreen, and all those years had gone to waste. He hated the more “hard core” aspects of the gaming world. When the leagues came and he and his friends attempted to make it big and to be the best, after it was all over, there were separated by the ridiculously numerous channels in vent and might as well have been worlds apart. Gaming was supposed to bring them together, not tear them apart. When the league play dissipated though, all was well, times were good, and friendships were strong. But right when the league came back, words were shot, times were bad, and friendships were being tested.

With all this in mind, Dalziel could not think of the reason why he kept coming back to the same villain who had ripped him apart and glued him back together again so many times. When Runescape lost is allure where did he turn? He turned to Gunz, Gunbound, Rakion, WoW, Rohan, Silk, Maple, TF2, Portal, Hellgate: London (biggest waste of money ever), DoTA, D2, and Rose just to name a few. Why? That was his only question. What sadistic nature embedded in Dalziel kept forcing him to keep his head under the water when all he really needed was the precious oxygen 2 inches up?

With the chain of words he had heard over and over again many times, “I pwn you noob!” it finally hit him. He had awoken to the crisp smell of the coffee that no one really drank. All those posers who thought they were being classy with their Starbucks cups in hand sipping their “coffee” never really drank coffee. Their drug of choice was sugar and cream, sugar and cream with a touch of coffee. The reason he had been holding his hand in the roaring fire had been to help him forget the problems of his life. Instead of using drugs and alcohol like the average teenager, Dalziel had gotten creative in his method of madness. Since he was a Christian, drugs and alcohols were a strict no-no, so instead of physically numbing his body with his mind, he took the path that left the body directly unharmed.

Though the body was left out of the direct line of fire, the mind in turn received of more focused beam of the numbing effects, this escape of the mind was so powerful that it drove the whole being into an addictive crazed state. Instead of wanting to always be out of the house and chilling with people in person, this beam of power was a magnet that always sucked Dalziel into the world of the internet. For the moments he was in front of his 24 inch widescreen LCD, Dalziel could forget all his problems and not deal with them. He could push them to the very outskirts of his brain where he would all but remember them.

But as the years rolled on by, Dalziel’s brain began to evolve. No longer would it succumb to the magnetic force of the 24 inch widescreen, it slowly developed a resistance to the drug. This resistance force tried to exert its dominance as the new alpha male many times before, but Dalziel was not strong enough. The addictive chemicals had seeped into his fat and when there were no more intakes, it would eat a bit of the chemical-laden fat and Dalziel would feel the cravings and relapse.

These stoppings and relapsings had been occurring on and off, and with them as the resistant strain of Dalziel brain grew stronger, bouts of depression would accompany these cycles making them even deadlier. Then another variable was thrown into the mix and things became even more dangerous. This variable was highly unexpected but very potent; few know the dangers of this unseen renegade variable. To this day, Dalziel is still unsure about this lonesome explosive variable, but he has moved on with his life and gone through the intense rehab known as his will power.

Dalziel’s one true source of power in his life stems from within his own body. The only problem with this power source is that it is fails easily, with any pressure or perhaps a new but similar renegade variable, it collapses into a little ball and assumes the fetal position until it finds its lemons and stares the foe down into a little corner where it then consumes the offending’s soul.

- - - -

“Sometimes solutions aren't so simple.
Sometimes goodbye's the only way.

And the [S]un will set for you,
The [S]un will set for you.”

Revelation hits like a little girl

I have officially quit gaming hard core style. Games are no longer fun to me and I have just realized that games were actually my escape from the world. In an extreme illustration, games were my drugs. I would “use” because I could not deal with all my pent up emotions and would just game into numbness. Now I guess I’ve grown resistant to this strain of gaming known as EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER PLAYED which is basically everything known to man.

Now that I have finally quit the games/drugs, I hope that I will be a more open to share my emotions/talk to people. To all my gamer friends, which is like all my friends from school, even though I doubt any of them read this, this may sound like the end, but if you look closely at the word choice in the beginning, I said hardcore style. This does not mean I am completely closed against gaming because I’m pretty sure it’s going to be pretty hard for me to relapse like an alcoholic unless some amazing game comes out (COUGHD3COUGH) in the next 3 years. But even then, I will never go back to where I was before.

And also now that I have so much more free time on my hands, I will need to find a new hobby. What I am thinking of right now are basically, guitar, working out and getting ridiculously jacked Chuck Norris style on a total gym pro, reading a lot of random good books, writing more short stories for your reading pleasure, and chilling more with people in real life which doesn’t really work so well during the school year. Another option which I guess has always been there but never kind of neglected to the extreme is Frisbee. I’ve been on the team ever since freshmen year and yet, I still suck. Well I guess I don’t suck compared to the really bad people on the team, but seeing how I’ve been playing for 3 years now, the level of my skill is ridiculously low. So I guess I could become the all around awesome kid who no longer games his pain and emotions away into numbness but instead tackles his emotions and feelings head on in the face like a wave. Whatever waves life may throw at me, I promise that I will no longer ride the wave and give into the numbness of just riding it calmly back. I will run with my head held high and stance strong and dive into the ocean of the world and defeat it. I will prevail.

With all that said, I will probably need some of your help in keeping me on my feet. Sometimes I may be feeling quite tired from the extreme cold of the waters of life so I may need a friend to huddle together with for warmth and energy to get back out there and keep on fighting. Therefore, you should start talking to me again on AIM or whatever you have previously tried to contact me with oh so many years ago. I realized that since I was always gaming without an away message, I would receive many a chance to talk and share about my life, but I would be too enveloped in the allure of a stupid game to notice. To many if not all of you, I apologize for my gaming having shunned you away from ever getting to know me better and I ask you now, please, please do talk to me. I really do want to get to know you better. You can also remind me to not game.

Speaking of all these waves… the beach today was pretty fun. Running chest first and slamming into those huge waves at Ogunquit could not be topped. Yes the water was freaking cold at 59 degrees, but I manned up and took the hit and did not pull a Ryan Fung. =P Sitting in the car seeing people dance and wave at the ridiculously baked women in the trunk was also quite amusing if not the high light of sitting in the car. I also shared some quality time with my techno raver buddy sharing headphones. To all of you lame kids who did not go, you all missed out on my ridiculously chiseled bod. So since next year is my last LYF beach trip you don’t want to miss out! If you don’t go next year I’ll have to start charging for looks/feels. Just ask Chris Huang, kid was all over me strangely enough.

Hello World...

Just dropping in to say that I am still here but am waiting for myself to become less lazy and actually kick my butt into gear and write a story. Kinda just bumming around for now. Letting summer take its droll effects on me as I sit here and absorb the laziness of summer that will soon be replaced by the burning, fuming scent of a college common application essay being written and rewritten.

With all that said. Hello world.

"But I could not recall
A more perfect fall
Cause when I looked up into your eyes
It didn't hurt at all."